Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Top 5 Male Actors: Talent and Hotness

1. Leonardo DiCaprio

  • Talent best displayed in: What's Eating Gilbert Grape
  • Talent disappointment: Revolutionary Road
  • Hottest in: The Departed and Blood Diamond (hello Seth Efricen accent!)
  • Not hot in: Titanic (too clean, too blonde)
  • Should really not: Slick back his hair for every awards show he shows up to

2. Colin Farrell


  • Talent best displayed in: In Bruges?
  • Talent disappointment: The stupid movie with Salma Hayek where he's a writer and she's a waitress
  • Hottest in: Miami Vice (hello handlebar moustache!)
  • Not hot in: a stupid fedora hat
  • Should really not: Dirty hair is fine. Dirty long long hair is gross.

3. Kiefer Sutherland

  • Talent best displayed in: 24
  • Talent disappointment: Don't even remember his old movies...
  • Hottest in: 24 Season 1 and 2; Ford Canada commercials
  • Not hot in: Stand By Me
  • Should really not: Do another season of 24. Move on to something else that leverages your talent and your hotness

4. Mark Wahlberg

  • Talent best displayed in: The Departed (even though he was wearing too much clothes)
  • Talent disappointment: When he wears too much clothes, or The Happening
  • Hottest in: The Italian Job
  • Not hot in: Too much clothes
  • Should really not: Wear too much clothes

5. Ben Affleck

  • Talent best displayed in: Boiler Room?
  • Talent disappointment: Playing Jack Ryan in Sum of All Fears - it was handed to you on a silver platter passed down from Harrison Ford and you screwed it up
  • Hottest in: Armageddon
  • Not hot in: Standing next to J. Lo (blech!)
  • Should really not: Have gotten married and had 2 children

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