- Talent best displayed in: What's Eating Gilbert Grape
- Talent disappointment: Revolutionary Road
- Hottest in: The Departed and Blood Diamond (hello Seth Efricen accent!)
- Not hot in: Titanic (too clean, too blonde)
- Should really not: Slick back his hair for every awards show he shows up to
2. Colin Farrell
- Talent best displayed in: In Bruges?
- Talent disappointment: The stupid movie with Salma Hayek where he's a writer and she's a waitress
- Hottest in: Miami Vice (hello handlebar moustache!)
- Not hot in: a stupid fedora hat
- Should really not: Dirty hair is fine. Dirty long long hair is gross.
3. Kiefer Sutherland
- Talent best displayed in: 24
- Talent disappointment: Don't even remember his old movies...
- Hottest in: 24 Season 1 and 2; Ford Canada commercials
- Not hot in: Stand By Me
- Should really not: Do another season of 24. Move on to something else that leverages your talent and your hotness
4. Mark Wahlberg
- Talent best displayed in: The Departed (even though he was wearing too much clothes)
- Talent disappointment: When he wears too much clothes, or The Happening
- Hottest in: The Italian Job
- Not hot in: Too much clothes
- Should really not: Wear too much clothes
5. Ben Affleck
- Talent best displayed in: Boiler Room?
- Talent disappointment: Playing Jack Ryan in Sum of All Fears - it was handed to you on a silver platter passed down from Harrison Ford and you screwed it up
- Hottest in: Armageddon
- Not hot in: Standing next to J. Lo (blech!)
- Should really not: Have gotten married and had 2 children
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